Emma Stone Defeats Wage Gap And Jennifer Lawrence

Nothing screams new age American values more than competing against someone that looks like you, and clawing yourself to the top. It’s capitalism rebooted. But I’d rather see Emma Stone claw at Jennifer Lawrence in barely any clothes.  Give me 90 minutes of that with no plot and they would both be tied in the category of highest paid women in Hollywood. But as of right now Emma Stone has usurped the Hunger Games artful archer assassin’s position as highest paid actress. She’s 28 and has raked in $26 million for the year. With a healthy bank account like that, I wonder if the men who make less than her will have to call her daddy instead. I’m all for equality swapped gender roles kink. You bring home the bacon, you can stick that sausage wherever you want sweetheart.

The 28-year-old finished at the top of the list after racking up $26 million in pre-tax money throughout Forbes‘ 12-month scoring period. This is no surprise considering La La Land‘s massive success, grossing around $445.3 million at the global box office.

So I’m wondering where’s the equality for men here. I feel left out. Now the pay gap is tipping in their favor. It’s all starting to make sense now why more women are shaving their heads and dressing like men. They’re making money like men, they should have the looks to match. I hope Emma doesn’t transition now that she’s making the big bucks though. The thought of her with morning wood is the same material nightmares are made from.

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